Well, I’m still here but it’s okay. The past month has been full of some interesting desert moments – let’s see how well I can describe them, starting with the tough ones that I can fit into a few categories from the ugliness of the desert.
- Mirages – moments when I thought life was going to take direction A and I got to the fork in the road and whoosh – direction B is the turn because A went away.
- Desert snakes and bad animals – the evil darts that try to turn my focus to the wide berth of sand that feels like it will never end.
- Pyramids –the stumbling block of discouragement and never-ending. I’ve literally stood at the base of the great pyramids in awe of all the Israelites went through in captivity. What must that have been like without the handy bottled water or sunscreen or car to drive you away?
- Choking sand –the massive spinning of my wheels that I can only equate with putting a glass of refreshing water to your lips and beginning to choke as dry, gross, choking sand fills your mouth.
- Blowing sand – the burning of the blowing sand that distorts and destroys my vision and turns my focus inward not upward
These tough desert moments come in any form – whether it’s simply horrific commutes or hard ugliness with my own messy emotions and ups and downs of life or harder still with a friend’s heartache and tough decisions or hardest yet my mom’s recent cancer discovery and the approaching chemo. My desert is, like I’m sure yours has been, full of things that so easily entangle. Full of darts from the enemies. Full of hardship and grit as I try to get to the promised land. But that’s just it – me trying. I’m not relying. I’m not resting. I’m not remembering. I’m not recalling all God has done for me. * It’s a running theme in my life that needs to go – the phrase “I try” is such a prideful and immediate reaction for me. I’ve blogged about it numerous times and probably will continue to do so as I surrender instead of try.
Yet in the midst of realizing the surrendering I have the moments of great gifts. Moments where I rely, rest, remember, recall and rejoice. Moments when God is so very real and present to me. Moments with BFF’s that are just amazing and full of sweetness. Moments when my favorite verse, Psalm 84:7 comes rushing to the forefront of my mind because in the last week 2 friends have reminded me of it. Moments when the doctor says, “we’ll figure it out and we have a plan.”
That’s where I see these things in the desert:
- Night – in the desert this is relief. Night washes in coolness and hope. Stars and lights to shine peace and promise. Nighttime in the desert is full of moments that remind me of the awesomeness of God.
- Nice desert animals –wander by and stop and help, stop and listen, stop and prop me up, these are the good ones that are the amazing friends God has given me.
- Water – springs of God’s word refreshing and revitalizing me.
My journey in the desert has been extensive and I know, but do not fear, that is not nearly over but it has been full of moments that have taught me much. I’m eager for what is to come as I journey closer to the promised land! Here are two of my “cling-to” verses for the tough moments above.
They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion. Psalm 84:7The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Deuteronomy 31:8
What are your “cling-to” verses?
*Listen to Lon Solomon’s sermon from last night 12/14/09 for some great points on fixing your eyes
Katy Kirk said,
December 15, 2009 at 3:56 am
wow. i love you heart…thanks for your consistent truth and transparancy. you are loved.
Katy Kirk said,
December 15, 2009 at 3:57 am
meant to say YOUR heart…lol…it’s late!
Tina Furjanic said,
December 15, 2009 at 4:22 am
Hey there
I totally got the desert-y feeling from your vivid analogies. I am in a desert time too. Not as trial ridden as what you describe but kind of a numbness that won’t leave. But I always smile when I think if you. Keep on writing it out,girl. I will pray for you as I remember you. Love t
Laura said,
December 15, 2009 at 3:33 pm
Thanks for sharing my friend. Praying for you!! So thankful that God is able when we are not…
Love you!
Laura kalichak said,
December 15, 2009 at 3:33 pm
forgot you know lots of Laura’s
Jess said,
December 16, 2009 at 5:17 am
What a beautiful blog…thanks for sharing your heart and challenging me to keep my focus on Christ no matter what. You challenged me to remember that God may lead us into the desert but He doesn’t want us to set up a lawn chair, lay there and sweat! Thank you for the loving reminder to keep on walking and learning!
Robyn said,
December 16, 2009 at 4:30 pm
Two things – can’t get to the Promised Land without going thru the desert.
And my cling too is Isaiah 26:3 which I have posted on my computer screen (thank you)
Trisha said,
December 16, 2009 at 7:19 pm
Thank you for your blog! I was reading Psalm 118 this morning and it was such a good reminder that He is good and His love endures forever, no matter the circumstance. Praying for you!
andrewgood said,
January 27, 2010 at 7:06 am
Psalms 22:5